05242008 - Ellinda Elligo !! ( from where to where !!)
I always wanted to write a story.. more like a fantasy story.. and believe me.. i had made much progress.. recently, i was going though my old dairies, and i accidentally bumped into a story written by me.. it was arnd 10 - 12 pages, hand written, and i had written it in one day ( i had this habbit of writing dates whenever i wrote something on a piece of paper ! .. so thats how i know.. ) ..
multiple thoughts are coming to my mind right now..
1. how enthusiastic i was back then ( i had just finished my 10th :-) )
2. how small things used to fascinate me - why they dont now !
3. will i ever complete the story ?
4. why did i stop writing ?
5. how did i ever come up with that idea ?
6. old dairies.. i was actually keeping a diary.. why am i not writing one now ?
7. contents of the dairy - wow.. did i actually write them !!
8. incidents written in the diary
9. my handwriting change ( it was soo beautiful then :-( )
10. how i was able to stick to something / get involved in something, soo deeply ?
11. my ability to get lost in thoughts
12. how i had got lost in thoughts one day, and was actually imagining senarios about what would happen, instead of just letting it go.. after all, it was just a hypothetical situation !
13. why i always prepare myself for situations where things can go wrong ?
14. how much i have changed
15. my ability to bring myself back from the swriling thoughts
16. how i attained this ability
17. why did i attain this ability
18. how i am able to write my thoughts
19. have i missed any thoughts
20. can i type at the speed of my thoughts ?
well these are just some thoughts that i was able to jot down.. i am sure that 100 other thoughts have just made their presence felt in my mind, and i was unable jot them all.. but.. this is a good start..
The reason why i wrote down my thoughts was.. look at them for a moment.. this is an excellent example about my mind ( and i take the liberty of saying this -> about "our" minds )..
The thought-chain started with "how enthusiastic i was" , and by the time i was able to put a conclusion to this ( and thats probably 2 minutes, ie. the time taken to jot things down.. haha.. i can type ;-) ) .. i ended up with "can i type at the speed of my thoughts" ..
probably you should try this activity out.. i am sure.. your thoughts will be as diverse as mine if not more :-).. i mean.. the last thought was no where related to the first one.. why is it so ? .. come to think of it.. see how i started the blog.. and see where its heading now ?
they say, that the only thing that can go faster than light is the mind .. its infinite capabilities have not been explored yet..
many people have explored the way of controlling the thoughts.. i am sure you must have heard about words like "meditation" or "yoga" .. well frankly speaking, there is a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge difference b/w the two, but for the common man, i guess its the same.. anyways.. not to digress.. the "methods" ( what ever they are ) for controlling the thoughts.. all focussed on one thing.. its called -> Observation
Have you noticed, how the behaviour changes if you observe ? i am not talking about observing others.. try observing yourselves.. i have done this.. and believe me.. it works !!
For example, when i used to chat with someone, i used to have this typical behaviour of believing that "i know everything" more realted to my ego i guess.. and when i started observing this behaviour.. it gradually subsidized ( well i occasionally get into this mode .. but its very rare.. and believe me.. sometimes it helps too !! )
Anyways.. the point is.. how the change happens.. as i have figured it out.. i guess :-).. there are three stages to this..
1. the behaviour
2. recognize the behaviour
3. "gradual" change
The second step is the most important one. Many a times i have noticed that, i get involved so much in the behaviour, i become one with the behaviour, instead of recognizing it. That is where we go wrong i guess.. for example.. if i am angry.. i am soo much involved in being angry that.. i really dont think that i am angry.. i just think its my natural behaviour.. But, if at such times, i am able to "recognize" that i am angry, then the effect of going-with-the-flow-of-being-angry drastically reduces.
Now the third step, how do i change myself ? ( and this is a gradual change !! ).. if i am angry, i think of
1. why am i angry
2. is there a problem
3. does it require me to be angry
4. what ever i am going to say now ( ie, at the time of being angry ) .. will it affect someone, in a negetive way
5. are there any other possible solutions
6. can i solve the problem
7. what steps need to be taken to slove the problem
8. can i solve the problem without being in an emotional state that i am in now ?
when you really stop and think at this moment of time, and think about these things.. and then let yourself be.. then i guess things will just work out fine.. thats precisely why they say " count till 10 when you are angry !! " ..
i have also observed that, when i am doing these 8 questions thinking, i become a different person, hmm.. just to explain my view, let me put it like this..
a movie of my life is going on ( live show you see !! ) .. and at the time of these seven thoughts.. i pause the movie, duplicate myself, twice, the "first me" is still angry, but is in a paused state.. the "second me" is thinking of the eight thoughts, and the "third me" is observing the "second me", and at some point of time, the "third me" smiles at the second and the first me.. when there is a smile on the "third me" , i unpause my movie, and surprisingly i have smile on my face, i am no longer angry, and there is a rational solution to the problem at hand.
well all these explanation is to just establish a fact that - observation can take you a long long way !! .. they say.. if you observe, even a single celled organism behaves differently.. this is precisely why, our elders chose to observe their thoughts, to reduce their frequency.. and that is precisely what "meditation" aims at :-) .. observing the inner self :-)
i guess i can confidently conclude by giving a link to this wonderful video which shows how an electorn's behaviour changes if you observe it !! - paste this address in ur browser - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfPeprQ7oGc