06282007 - Broken dream

Have you ever tried to remember a dream that you have had last night ?

Well from what the study says.. you can remember your dream best when you have just woken up ie. when your mind is still in the S1 state of the NREM ( Non Rapid Eye Movement ) stage of your sleep.. aka when you are half asleep :P ( all these i know coz i had written a paper on sleep, in my third sem, for our college magazine, which never got published :(  .. anyways.. back to square 1.. )

So i am here again.. with my dream.. this one is really vague and equally peculiar... but there are certain sequences which have left their imprints in my mind.. so now i try to build my dream based on these sequences.. here goes..

This dream of mine involves me. I am in a village, and i am there as the director of my drama team, there is this drama competition and our team has to perform in this competition. But there is just one problem, i dont have a skit and this competition is in 3/4 hours. Tensed, i venture around this beautiful village, talking to people and asking about their experiences, secretly searching for a skit, which i can flick !! ( desperate decisions are taken at desperate times :p ). Finally i see a lonely farmer sitting in his field. His face shows a dejected look, an anger against mother nature for not brining the monsoon rain.. his field has turned into a barren land due to the lack of rain.. i go up to him and start my conversation..

" Hello Sir, I am so and so.. from bangalore, here for a competition.. blah blah blah.. "

He respectfully replies back.

Happy to have started a decent conversation, i venture into the wild ;)

" Sir how has life treated you ? " .. perhaps a question i shouldn't have asked :(

To that his reply was ->

" What to say son, by profession we are farmers, for generations we have been farmers. We depend on the monsoon for our crops. But recently our village is not getting enough rain, i am not able to grow anything in my land. Its like nature has forgotten us. I have a son and daughter who are too attached to the city life, and are ashamed to admit that they belong to a farmers family. They are more into materialistic things and the ways of the city rather than our way of life which is close to mother nature. Their demands are hard to meet. But being a father i cannot see my children sad. Even though i am an illiterate, i wanted my children to get best education, so i sent them to city, to study, and now, they refuse to come back and support me when i need them the most. I have no means of feeding my family, so i am selling this land to an industrialist who plans to build a factory here, and probably work in that factory as a guard or something, he has promised me a job in his factory. I know what i am doing is wrong, but i cannot help it, i have a family to support.. ( a silent tear crawls out of his eyes.. )

Son don't feel bad because i am telling all these things to you, i cannot say these things to anyone in my family, they cant understand all these things.. "

i didn't know what to say.. so i say, " please sir, think of me as your own family member, you can say these things to me, i understand your difficulty.. " and i keep my hands on his shoulder .. ( this i remember very distinctly .. )

he continues.. " you know son, for generations we always grew our own food in our land. Rice and wheat was never a problem for us. Nature blessed us with enough food to sustain our family. But now, i feel ashamed to buy my own food and eat it. Its something that will haunt me till i live, but i have to live with it.. ( this also has made its way into my memory )

anyways.. i am here one last time to look at my land, apologize to it and say goodbye to it.. "

the scene in my dream changes.. its the drama competition.. and our drama is this story, i am one among the judge ( don't know how i became a judge, when i was supposed to be the director of my drama troop.. anyways.. ) judging all the dramas being performed. So i am judging my own drama but i don't know that, this is my drama, coz in this scene, i am the judge.. get my point ? :P

After listening to the last statement of the farmer, this judge ( me.. ) simply cries.. and there ends my dream..

Now i don't know how much marks i awarded to this team of mine.. or if my team won the competition or not.. but one thing i know for sure.. this story of the farmer has definitely made its impression in my mind.. and its going to stay there for long :)